Next, follow the format below. When followed to the
‘tee’ – Miracles begin to happen.
Step to
Delivering Uncomfortable Communications
#1
Do Forgiveness on the other and yourself, so you feel
centered. An effective method is to write forgiveness statements repeatedly,
until you feel a shift.
# 2
Tell your partner that you have something you want to
talk to them about, and ask if the two of you can set up an uninterrupted time
to have a discussion? Do not talk about the subject yet. Make certain the time
you set will be enough time so you can complete the communication, and the other
will have an opportunity to respond – until a conclusion is drawn.
#3
When you meet: Start with telling them you appreciate
their time and willingness. Then tell them what you are afraid will happen
during the discussion. (ie. I am afraid you will interrupt, or not listen,
etc.)
# 4
Make requests of them that will help take care of your
fears. (ie. I would like you not to talk until I am done, etc.). ask for their
agreement on each item separately. Always honor the other’s ‘Free Will’ to make
choice about what they are willing to do. Ask if there is any request they have
for you in supporting the environment. The purpose of this is to up a safe
atmosphere so the honest communication can happen.
# 5
Now you will be able to speak more calmly and clearly
about subject. Only use ‘I’ statements. (No interruptions – take turns, use
deep listening skills and paraphrase back what you heard – checking for
accuracy of meaning.)
# 6
When you are complete, allow the other to say whatever
they need to. If the subject calls for it – make requests, negotiate, and come
to a Win/Win Agreement.
If by chance, completion can’t occur at this time, set
up a specific time when you will resume – and say what you will commit to
thinking over until then.
#7
Acknowledge the other for keeping the Agreements you
started with, and for participating fully, etc.
As we begin to
build a new history, by Being Truly Authentic, we discover that it is possible to Effectively Deliver
Uncomfortable Communications, and both parties come out the other side, better
as a result. Magically our ‘stack’ begins to diminish, allowing our trust to
strengthen and our connections to get deeper.
From Being Truly
Authentic with our Partner, we grow in trust, and love has a fertile ground to
flourish.
