Important To Do:
Remember that honesty is basis of all
healthy relationships, whether with a friend, a significant other, coworker or
any other person. Honesty gives rise to trust, which is
absolutely essential for maintaining relationships honesty also establishes
consistency, allowing the other person to rely on what you say as carrying true
meaning. Most importantly of all, honesty is about respect and valuing the
dignity of the other person.
Recognize how dishonesty plays itself
out within a relationship. Lying to a friend or other person can
ruin a relationship, sometimes instantly. Even if dishonest behavior goes
undetected for a time, it will white ant your relationship – insincerity and a
lack of investment in the well – being of the other person burrows into the
subconscious of those at the receiving end, even through the most finely
crafted lies and pretense. Dishonest behavior in relationships can include.
·
Fawning over someone even though you don’t
particularly like them. Sometimes this is to get something you want (such as
promotion, a role, a gift, money, etc.), while other times it is simply because
you’re too insecure to own up to not liking this person much. While it can be
difficult to maintain relations with a person you don’t much get along with,
you can agree to respect each other’s
differences instead of lying outright.
·
Enabling bad behavior. Although more complex
than there is room for discussion here, enabling behavior is a form of
dishonesty. In letting the alcoholic have “just one more drink’, or the
internet-obsessed “just another after-midnight hour online”, etc., you fail to
address the root problem and enable the bad behavior. This type of dishonesty
can let problems fates or grow, damaging both the other person and the
relationship.
·
Honesty is also self-kindness. Lying
increases your blood pressure and subjects you stress. Doing this frequently
can reduce the effectiveness of your immune system. Dishonesty can lead you to
second guess your self worth and justify even more dishonesty. All of this is
unnecessary mental and bodily strain; honesty is the easy way to take care of
your healthy. Honest means not having to keep cross-referencing your deception
to make sure it all adds up, after all, eventually it won’t.
·
If you’re still struggling with the idea of
honesty as the best policy, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would
you feel if someone concealed sometimes important from you, such as slips in
your work performance that could be remedied early or your fly being
undone/your skirt being stuck in the back of your underpants as you return from
the bathroom? It is rare that you’d rather not know something awkward, or bad
that impacts you personally. Sure ,the embarrassment or pain at first may be
intense but then you get on to fixing things quickly.
·
Consider the person with whom you must be
honest. Don’t be brash or too pointed where the person is usually shy or very
sensitive. Take into account their nature when adapting your message. There
will be a different approach between telling your best friends something
delicate and motivating a slack co-woker with whom you’re trying to complete a
project.
·
Face-to-face is best; it lets the other
person read your body language and helps them put your words into emotional
perspective. Words spoken over the phone or written can be all too easily
distorted, to make a negative meaning where none was intended.
·
The “Am I ugly?” question. Remember that
beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is subjective. Everyone has different
areas of beauty; it’s important to stress these areas. Your friend might not
have the most beautiful body, but he or she may have gorgeous eyes, or a smile
that stops traffic. Make this clear to your friends or significant other! Never
tell a person that they’re ugly-if you
do this, you are always being dishonest because you have failed to truly
appreciate that person for who they really are.
·
Always notice the good along with the bad.
This makes it clear that you see the whole and that you respect the person’s
abilities and think that they can do or be better with more effort.
Read How To Be Honest Without Being Harsh Part#2 ,HERE
