Jealousy. It may only be a simple
word, but does not have such a simple definition behind it. There are many
reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it
tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to tame it and control
it however , you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from.
There is always a cause for jealousy to arise and once you have those causes
figured out, controlling it will become easier.
When your jealous emotions come
out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? This is where you
need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time
you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something
to do with your own self – esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship
with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self – esteem,
jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it
is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage
to your self – esteem.
Once you figure out where your
jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel
jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your
boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover
why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship
that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just
have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self –
esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of
questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be
conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step,
so you are already on the right and smart track !
Once you have realized where your
jealousy comes from and what cause it, you can then concentrate on keeping it
in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with
your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her
about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You
have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is
making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways
to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make
an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self – love and
health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight
off such jealousies when they come to surface.
To keep yourself on the
right track of jealousy conquering, just
remember these steps:
Acknowledge your Jealousy.
§ Ask yourself where
it is coming from.
§ Question why it
makes you feel Jealous.
§ Make self –
health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.
§ Combine jealousy
with a more rational emotion.
§ Practice!
As long as you keep those steps
in mind and follow them, you will learn how take control of your jealousy
instead of it controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You
know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these
steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until
you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make
you the leader and not follower your emotions, which can prevent you from
entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self – esteem,
depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus
on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and
open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better
solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationship and life in
general.
