Can you Be in Love with Two Persons at the Same Time ?
The
convebtional notion of romantic love makes it an exclusive emotion – one that
can be felt for only one person at any given moment. However there is no
accounting for what the human heart is and is not capable of feeling. So can
you really be in love with two different persons at the same time?
As
a social being, an individual is the product of many kinds of relationships and
a result, he or she can feel love for a number of people. A person may love a
sibling, a close friend, a perent besides a partner.
However romantic love is usually restricted to
one person. This is the difference between loving and being in love with
someone – the former can apply to two or more relationship at any one time
while the latter, the romantic kind of love is limited to one. This is because
of the very nature of romantic love. You only fall in love with a person who is
a friend, soul – mate, lover and a guide – all rolled into one. This person not
only seems to answer to every need and emotion within you but even leads you to
self-growth and encourages you to be a better person. You have finally found
the love of your life, you feel fulfilled and at peace.
So
how does the possibility of being in love with two persons at the same time
arise?
The
answer perhaps lies in the cold fact that no single human can fulfill all your
wants and desires. A human being exists on many levels – the intellectual,
physical and emotional to name only the more significant. Only a superhuman and
thus fictional personality can have the ability to satisfy all the craving and
expectations that are felt by an individual. Say your interests include
horse-riding, Italian Renaissance art, Lebanese cuisine and growing your own
tomatoes. Can you in all honesty claim you find a partner who will share exactly all
these hobbies with you and be rich, intelligent, attractive? Unlikely. Even if
you manage to find a guy or girl sharing most of your interests, he/she may not be as
attractive or as considerate as you would have liked them to be. It is here
that a situation where one can fall in love with more than one person may
arise. While you may find emotional warmth and support in one individual,
another person may be better able to provide you the sexual excitement you also
crave for. And may even look forward to the stimulating conversations or
exciting discussions that a third person is able to ofter you. So if you find
that two different people can best fulfill your defferent needs and that both
those needs are important for you to lead a wholly satisfying life, perhaps it
is possible to be in love with both at the same time.
However
what may seem possible in theory may not work out well in real life. One of the
most common situations when one can claim to be in love with two persons at the
same time is in case of an affair. If it ia a purely sexual affair, presumably
the third person is there to satisfy your sexual needs while your partner continues
to be your soul-mate or marital companion. On the other hand in case of an
emotional affair, your companion may be answering to certain emotional needs
which have been ignored or rejected by your partner whatever the configuration,
having an affair imposes on both relationship an additional burden of secrecy,
lies, anxiety and insecurity. Eventually you may find these negative emotions
changing the dynamics of both relationship with the result that no longer offer
the same love and fulfillment they used to – either separately or together.
Many
couples go for open relationships in an attempt to avoid the pitfall of an
affair. Such relationship allow either or both partners the freedom to enter
into new relationships. Since the secondary relationships are made with the
full knowledge and consent of both partners, the usual trust issues attendant
on affairs are unlikely to other specific needs while love or their
understanding of it exists only between the core couple.
While
the practical problems of being in love with two persons at the same time may
render the equation unrealistic in the long run, can the idea exist by itself?
Being in love is not always about someone catering to your needs and desires,
whether it is the same person who is fulfilling all your wants or different
people satisfying different cravings in you. Being in love is as much about
giving of yourself, giving of your own accord and giving without expecting
anything in return. If this is true, then you can give your heart truly and
completely to just one person at a time. In other words, be in love with only
one person at any given moment.
Finally,
love need not be about an either/ or situation at all. It might be possible to
be in love two different people but who says you have to act on it? Say you
chance upon your high-school sweetheart at the art gallery. You talk of old times, relive past memories and still
feel the embers of the earlier passion glowing in your heart. On the other hand
you also have a loving and supportive spouse at home as well as wonderful
children you cannot imagine getting hurt. Instead of getting involved with your
ex and making a mess of your personal life, you can admit to yourself that the
person from the past occupies a very special place in your heart and leave it
at that. It does not demean your marriage or your relationship values if you
are honest enough to acknowledge that you share something unique with someone
from your past even as you recognize the worth of what you possess at present.
