Why Do Men Leave Their Wives

Why Do Men Leave Their Wives

Today's women can find it challenging sometimes to keep their marriages intact and happy. Many women wonder why men leave their wives and what they can do to make sure it doesn't happen to them.

The truth of the matter is that our society has made it very difficult for men and women to find long term loving relationships. Why? Because the rules our society has adopted are based on inaccurate information.

One of the most obvious misconception that is pervasive throughout our society is the idea that men only want sex and/or have a much higher sex drive than women. The truth is that men and women have similar sex drives but men have been encouraged, by society, to fulfill their needs while women have been discouraged from having sex until they are married.

This leads to many misunderstandings between men and women and how they approach their relationships. It might mean a man will be more tempted to cheat on his wife because after all, it's in his nature. And it could mean that a women uses sex with the hopes of keeping her husband in love with her so he will stay in the marriage.

If we really got to the bottom of things though we would understand that men and women want basically the same things in a relationship. Both want to feel loved, respected, and desired by their partners. When you break it down like that it doesn't really seem all that hard, does it?

If you want to keep your marriage strong try to meet your husbands needs...all of them, not just sexually. A word of caution here though. Because of the way our society has told us to behave women have the tendency to think that they have to meet their husbands needs even if that means ignoring their own. No! All that will do is make you resentful and bitter and that won't keep a marriage intact.

While it's important to try to meet your husbands needs it can't be done to the detriment of your own. Don't put your wants and needs on hold to satisfy your husband, you'll be unhappy, he'll be unhappy (and bored) and the marriage won't last. For a marriage to thrive both parties need to be happy, healthy, stable, and have their needs being met on a regular basis.

So for any women who wants to know why men leave their wives it's usually because his needs aren't being met, and I don't just mean his sexual needs. I mean on some level he doesn't feel like you love, desire, or respect him and he will try to find someone who will.

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Love Is… Cinta…

Love Is…

Cinta…

manusia untuk saling saling mencintai, saling memiliki, saling memenuhi, saling pengertian. Cinta itu sendiri sama sekali tidak dapat dipaksakan, cinta hanya dapat berjalan apabila kedua belah pihak ikhlas, cinta tidak dapat berjalan apabila mereka mementingkan diri sendiri. Karena dalam berhubungan, pasangan kita pasti menginginkan suatu perhatian lebih dan itu hanya bisa di dapat dari pengertian pasangannya.

Cinta adalah memberikan kasih sayang bukannya rantai. Cinta juga tidak bisa dipaksakan dan datangnya pun kadang secara tidak di sengaja. CInta indah namun kepedihan yang ditinggalkannya kadang berlangsung lebih lama dari cinta itu sendiri.

Harmony

Harmony

Keintiman digunakan sebagai ungkapan penghalus suatu hubungan seksual, para psikolog sangat mengenal bahwa keintiman merupakan bagian krusial dari semua hubungan penting kita. Ini adalah faktor yang memberikan suatu hubungan menjadi dalam, bermakna dan penuh dengan nilai-nilai pribadi.

Jika kita begitu sangat membutuhkan keintiman, mengapa kemudian keintiman begitu sulit dicapai? Halangan paling besar saat ini adalah waktu, dan kurangnya perangkat, ujar Susan Prosser , seorang kounseler dan psikolog untuk Counselling and Education di Ottawa. Keintiman menuntut komitmen waktu yang banyak, diantara kita memilikinya lebih dari dua atau tiga hubungan intim.

Pengaruh Pacar Yang Posesif

Memiliki pacar posesif sebenarnya adalah hal yang positif.  

 sebelumnya sudah pernah di singgung bahwa sebagian wanita juga menyukai pria posesif. Namun jika sifat posesif itu terlalu berlebihan dan terkesan mengarah ke pengekangan kehidupan kamu, tentunya hal ini sudah tidak bias di bilang positif lagi. Oleh karenanya , penting bagi kamu, baik pria maupun wanita untuk mengenali tanda-tanda pacar terlalu posesif dan mengekang kehidupan kamu.

Pada mulanya, pacar yang terlalu posesif akan beralasan dengan dalih “karena sangat sangat menyayangi kamu” ataupun dia beralasan bahwa ia “takut kehilangan kamu”. Namun semakin kesini, kedua hal yang menjadi alas an pacar yang terlalu posesif tersebut lebih mengarah ke pengekangan atas kehidupan pribadi kamu. Dan berikut adalah tanda-tanda pacar kamu terlalu posesif dan bukal mengarah ke pengekangan terhadap kehidupan pribadi kamu.

·         Dia sering mengirim kata-kata manis yang terlalu berlebihan dan lebih seperti omong kosong, sepanjang hari!

·         Dia yang menentukan aturan dalam hubungan kalian. Hanya caranya yang dianggap benar. Jika kalian mencoba menggunakan cara kalian sendiri, dia akan mulai mencurigai kalian macam-macam.

·         Dia sering bertanya ‘apakah kalian benar-benar menyayanginya?’ berkali-kali. Tentu saja mempertanyakan hal ini memang wajar, tapi jika dia menanyakan secara terus-menerus, misalkan lebih dari lima kali sehari, ini tentu bukan hal yang wajar.

·         Dia ingin kalian memblokir semua mantan kalian dari facebook, tanpa alas an.

·         Dia selalu memeriksa telepon genggam kalian dan menayakan semu pesan keluar yang tidak ditujukan padanya. Ini membuat kalian harus menjelaskan apa perlunya pesan yang kalian kirimkan.

·         Dia memaksa untuk meminta akun email dan jejaring social kalian beserta kata sandi untuk memudahkannya mengecek apa saja yang kalian lakukan.

·         Dengan berjalannya waktu, kalian menyadari telah banyak menjauh dari teman-teman kalian. Saat kalian berencana keluar besama teman-teman, dia akan mengatakan “saying, kenapa kau tidak pergi bersamaku saja?”

·         Kalian sadar bahwa dia tidak banyak memiliki teman. Dia menghabiskan setiap waktunya untuk bersama atau berkomunikasi hanya dengan kalian.

·         Ketika diajak pergi bersama teman-teman, dia akan mulai melakukan interogasi pada mereka mengenai apa yang kalian ceritakan tentang dia, bagaimana hubungan kalian dengan manta, dan apa yang bias dilakukannya agar bias lebih dekat bersama kalian.

·         Dia tak pernah berhenti berbicara mengenai rencana masa depannya bersama kalian. Bagaimana dia akan menikah, memiliki anak dengan kalian. Ini sudah dilakukannya saat kalian baru berpacaran dua minggu.

Kamu pasti sepakat dengan saya, jika pacar memiliki tanda-tanda diatas, maka dipastikan ia termasuk pacar yang terlalu posesif, dan betapa menderitanya kamu karenanya. Oleh karena itu, kamu perlu cepat-cepat menentukan sikap sebelum ada yang tersakiti dalam hubungan cinta yang kamu jalani.

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Loneliness

What is loneliness?

As social beings, most of us feel the need for rewarding social contact and relationships. One common definition of loneliness is that it is the feeling we get when our need for this type of contact is not met.

However, loneliness is not the same as being alone. You might choose to be alone and live happily without much contact with other people. Or you may have lots of social contact, or be in a relationship or part of a family and still feel lonely.

Loneliness is not feeling part of the world. You might be surrounded by loads of people but... you are [still] lonely. Loneliness can have a significant impact on your mental health. It can contribute to mental health problems, such as anxiety and depression.

Having a mental health problem can also make you feel lonely. For example, your condition may mean that you find social contact difficult or that you find it hard to maintain friendships, or you may feel isolated because of stigma and discrimination.

What makes people lonely?

Loneliness has many different causes and affects people differently. Often people feel lonely because of their personal circumstances. But sometimes loneliness is a deeper, more constant feeling that comes from within.

Personal circumstances

Certain lifestyles and the stresses of daily life can make some people socially isolated and vulnerable to loneliness. There are many situations that might make you feel isolated or lonely.
For example, if you:
• lose a partner or someone close to you
• go through a relationship break-up
• are a single parent or caring for someone else – you may find it hard to maintain a social life
• retire and lose the social contact you had at work
• are older and find it difficult to go out alone
• move to a new area without family, friends or community networks
• belong to a minority ethnic group and live in an area without others from a similar background
• are excluded from social activities – for example, because of mobility problems or a shortage of money
• experience discrimination and stigma – for example, because of a disability or long-term health condition, or your gender, race or sexuality
• have experienced sexual or physical abuse – you may find it hard to form close relationships with other people.

 

Internal feelings of loneliness

Some people experience deep and constant feelings of loneliness that come from within and do not disappear, regardless of their social situation or how many friends they have.

There are many reasons people experience this kind of loneliness. You might feel unable to like yourself or to be liked by others, or you may lack self-confidence. This may come from having been unloved as a child so that, as an adult, you continue to feel unlovable in all relationships. Or sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, people isolate themselves within their relationships because they are afraid of being hurt.

Loneliness, for me, is a side effect of the barriers I've put up
over the years to protect myself from the world, and the world
from me.

If you experience this deeper type of loneliness, you may try to avoid being on your own and spend a lot of time socialising. Or you may react in the opposite way, hiding away on your own so you don't have to face a world of people you feel unconnected to. You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as using alcohol or drugs, to escape your feelings of loneliness or to face social situations that you can’t avoid.

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Conquering your Jealousy

Jealousy. It may only be a simple word, but does not have such a simple definition behind it. There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to tame it and control it however , you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause for jealousy to arise and once you have those causes figured out, controlling it will become easier.

When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? This is where you need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something to do with your own self – esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self – esteem, jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage to your self – esteem.

Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self – esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track !

Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what cause it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self – love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.

To keep yourself on the right  track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:

Acknowledge your Jealousy.

§  Ask yourself where it is coming from.

§  Question why it makes you feel Jealous.

§  Make self – health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.

§  Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion.

§  Practice!

As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self – esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationship and life in general.

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