Loving the Married
man. How complex are these 4 simple words? One may read this and say,
impossible? No matter what side of the fence you’re on both can agree that this
is a very controversial and moralistically sensitive topic. Hoe does it begin?
The touch of a hand, an innocent conversation, a glance? This post is for the
women who love their married man and need positive guidance and support to work
through their issues.
Step
All relationship are
based on the following concepts:
·
Desire:
This is when a person observes (visual) a person’s actions and or appearance
creating an image of interest.
·
Attraction:
This takes place when a person feels (emotion) a connection with a person
beyond the image.
·
Love;
This is a combination of levels of both desire and attraction which creates a
certain level or depth of love.
In relationship, there
are different depths of desire, attraction, and love. This is why some
relationships have a deeper bond and longevity. Marriage is considered the
ultimate depth of love, and “proof positive” that your mate is irrevocably, and
unconditionally admirable of you and will be with you until the end of all
time. While this is a valid interpretation of marriage, the worth is only as
valuable as the individuals embarking upon this type of commitment. If the
level or depth of the aforementioned elements are superficial, this type of
commitment will not have a an everlasting bond.
A married man who is
involved with another woman, sexually, emotionally, or in any way not in
accordance with their marriage vows, is in fact ‘not married’ (emotionally).
·
Marriage
is a sacred decree, (emotional), in which two individuals declare, in
accordance with Gods law, their commitment and love for each other.
·
A
wedding (physical) is a ceremony in which two individuals declare before family
and friends their commitment and love for each other.
·
Once
the man violates the decree(emotional), he is merely a participant in a wedding
ceremony (physical).
There is also a real
possibility that we all (both men and women) can love more than one person in a
deep way at the same time. Perhaps he/she is such a person and you are as well. This
can be reinforced if all parties are open and honest with this type of
situation.
Be prepared for “THE
CHALLENGE”.
Truthfully, single men can cause more drama, detriment, and unnecessary pain in
your life, if their intentions are not admirable. Which oftentimes, they are
not. They can mislead you for months, even years, and leave you bewildered and
confused as to why they won’t commit, want just a “booty call”, or “friends
with benefits”, you know him;”THE PLAYER-PLAYER”. With a married man you know
he has attempted to be in a committed, monogamous relationship, and is probably
a good father, provider, and a great lover, all of which we as women consider
great traits and secretly desire in a man.
Tips
·
This
article is not suggesting you pursue married me; this is strictly for those who
are already dating a married man, and need a sounding board. Do yourselves a
favor, before you listen to all the “why I should not’s”, give him the benefit
of the doubt traet him with respect; let go of your inhibitions, double
standards, have no regrets. Not doing so will only serve as a disservice to
you. This is NOT the type of relationship for the faint at heart.
·
You
deserve to have a relationship that is totally and completely yours. Do not
stop looking for a man who is capable of an honest relationship.
·
Everyone
is an individual and responsible for themselves only.
·
Keep
in mind we all are vibrational beings and we everyone who is involved in your
life if actually knowing what is going on. The wife knows it too gives consent
to what is happening otherwise it could not happening – so no guilt is needed
here.
·
You
deserve a man who loves you. And everyone deserves to follow their own gut
feeling – this includes the married man who wants you. It is normal and healthy
to listen to the gut.
·
Seek professional help
if
you feel out of control and you can’t seem to find your way. It is not healthy
to remain in a relationship that cause you pain or is abusive in any way.
Warnings
·
Treat
yourself with respect at all times. Treat the other person – the married man –
with respect all times.
·
Do
not create, assume, and prejudge, negative image of him, based solely on the
fact that he is married. Follow your “gut instinct”, never “second guess”
yourself. If the relationship is not healthy and he is a womanizer, abuser, or
just an overall “cheat”, get out as quickly as you can. Do not enter into a
sexual relationship or any unmoral act that defames you, his wife, or family
members. This will be difficult because
we as women have a natural desire to comfort our men, and make all the
“wrongs”, in his world, “right”.
·
You
will want to please him as you will feel you are inconstant competition with
his wife. Slow down! This is not race. Be confident in your decisions and
analyze the facts for yourself. Discretion is key. Do not share your
relationship with anyone. You must stand alone in your decisions and actions in
this relationship. You will have no
support system and will be deemed an outcast. This will only lead to more
despair and cause you to have unnecessary “emotional baggage”, and doubt about
your relationship.
